Karma Diver: Angry 80's anyone?

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The Six Month Reign Of Karma Diver

Now you may have heard other versions of the story and even yellow journalistic versions as well...but nothing can outlast the total punch of this version! Be prepared...for they came, they saw, changed an entire nation and left without a trace...in the blink of an eye!

The phenomenon known to many as Karma Diver started when three individuals: John Gleason 'The Frontman', Jose Guzman 'The God Of Thunder' and Jay Ziegler 'The Blazin Riffs Commando' all met forces in the utter respondence of the one and only Mr. Jason Adair's math class. For weeks they had tossed around names such as "The Brown Eyes", "Adair & The G-String Band" and countless others. Finally during one day of imcomprhensible math equations and meaningless jargon, they were tossing words around when it hit them: They all loved 80's music, so the mold was set. They took the name of Dio's "Holy Diver" and Culture Club's "Karma Chameleon" and spliced the two together to at-first make reference to the greatest rock & roll duet of all time. During this, they discovered the two names for the band and ultimately went with the latter: Holy Chameleons and....KARMA DIVER!!

Picking up a stutter, a buttload of equipment and a penchant for sloppiness...they armed their arsenal all-star band with Steve Capak formerly of Levy, on bass...

The began writing such #1 hits on an array of different subjects all at on ce:

"Monkey Ass" (based upon a great practice and Jose's little niece)
"MacGyver's Car" (written in tribute to the best 80's innovative detective)
"Angry Eighties" (an ode to Scooby, the school's best metalhead)
"Future Rockstar" (a tune about the pressures of late night gigs)
"Acid Tongue" (a wicked tune about the bullshit one goes thru)

and the smash hit...that broke countless records:

"Most Covered Song": Covered by 5,761 bands across the planet
"Most Clinical Song": Cured cancer in 48 states
"Most Converted Song": Translated into 34 languages including: Spanish, German, Gaelic, Ebonics, Scandinavian and Aruba!

"Larry Bird's Erotic Dance Machine"

And amongst those #1 hot rockers...the band managed to cover two ultimate rock anthems! The god of all wrestling, Hulk Hogan's "Real American" and the legendary punk band The Ramones' "This Aint Havana"...

Around this time, the Black Eyes, Karma Divers arch-nemesis garage rock band, began to call them out and claim that they were nothing but a disgrace to Jimmy Pages ass. The Ringleader Kylan, armed with his Firm Italian Ass, Purple Plush Les Anus Paul and his goons Dustin Worn Ass & Tony Shits, they sought to destroy Karma Diver and hide their resources for the first show (they ripped off their PA system and vowed never to return it). Being not one to back down from a challenge, Karma Diver answered right back in their faces with a classy tribute to them by doing a cover of The Kinks You Really Got Me, a noted reference to Kylans EGO, SWEATY GIRL HAIR...and lack of pubes!

From December 5th...the band's first practice to January 10...the band's first gig...solid preparations were made to sound sharp and volatile. The show must go on!

1/10/03 Steves Downtown Music: The Best Night Of My Life! (Reported by Randy Warhol)
"Karma Diver that night, played to an audience of hardcore pissed off New Jersey people...and played a great fuckin show! Now you gotta remember...this is a small shanty of a record store, buried within the confounds of a small, prosperous, historic town. Talk about hard shit to master! Donning such awesome apparel as a Titanic shirt branded with a 'Karma Diver Tour 2003' logo, a Gloria Estefan tribute, D.A.R.E and...Puerto Rico...the fearless foursome forever changed the view of how a band is "supposed" to be! The band I can report to say changed my life in an instant...the other two bands that night...Protagonist and The Survivors...certainly didnt do either one of those things! Protagonist was certainly a bunch of Antagonistic assholes and The Survivors plainly sucked...The Suck...
"The band did an amazing show, throwing Tony Schott's shorts into the crowd, Jose's interstellar harmonica solo, John's screeching, beautifully interwoven and mesmerizing vocals, Jay's toppled lead guitar work and Stevo's sloppy sex-like basslines...by far the best night to live as a human! Bravo! Bravo!"

After the awesomely energized first show and the mediocre response from the pissed off New Jerseyians, tall, slick & cool trombone player Chuck Hodge, was added to the quartet to splice up the brass-balling heaviness that was missing...making a 5-time powerhouse act!

Getting Chuck in the band, Karma Diver really cranked up the intensity in Acid Tongue and all the other songs that were previously missing a ballsy bad-ass sound. Also knowing that connections in this town were a definite advantage, Karma Diver formed a permanent alliance with legendary raucous punk bands Cerephesis & BlacBloc. Determined to overrun the four metropolises of DeLand, Deltona, Daytona Beach & Orlando, Karma Diver began to book more shows. Using a previous connection from Speakeasy, Jay called up Cutaway, the emo-ska kings of Orlando, and got ahold of their manager. Exchanging a few words here & there, the stage was set for the next gig @ Happy Daze. It was also during this time, the band broke through many barriers of ridiculous high school bullshit and wrote stronger material which shone through on Emo, Angry Eighties, Larry Birds Erotic Dance Machine and a cover of The Clashs Should I Stay Or Should I Go? The gig was set and the band was ready. Following the colossal bands performance would be Insufficient Numbers & One Dublinersbut nothing could prepare the band for its next best moves still to lie ahead.

Adding Brittany Reinlie on keys, Kevin Coogan from Cerephesis on rhythm guitar & Jenn Karras on tenor sax proved to fit the band like a powerhouse fusion! Ready to face adversity, whiny emo kids and Johns pesty redneck broom-carrying neighbors who love to call the cops, the band solidified itself in Deltona Pop Culture. Arming themselves with Frankenstein the guitar & The Blazin Riffs Commando, the gigs were set in stone ready for the taking. The craze for Larry Bird began to slowly grow higher and higher as the demand for shitty garage rock from the Black Eyes began to dwindle like a candle in the wind.Karma Diver was going platinum!

Following all of this, the band stopped to view a concert that would forever change their sounds. Later that night, Karma Diver went to The House of Blues to witness the uber powerhouses acts of Overdale, Alias Clark, Bithlo Mullet Revival & Playground Heroes.the four of these bands would prove to influence the band in a radical, raucous, raunchy and ridiculously awesome sound!

"Beautifully written songs, extreme raw talent...these guys better be prepared to shoot for the morning light, because they're on an overnight sensation mega hit!"
~~~The Washington Post

"Best thing to hit stores since The Kinks 'You Really Got Me!'"
~~~NME

"It knocked my balls to the ground and up my spine!"
~~~Gene Shalit

"Cannot wait to sweat to 'Larry Bird' and dance to the next mega smash!"
~~~USA Today

"Mesmerizing vocals and euphoric drums, this band will send you in a frenzy to shake your ass!"
~~~LA Chronicle

Two thumbs up...our monkey asses!"
~~~Ebert & Roeper

"Spoken like true poets...in the eventful spawn of pop music, these guys really take the cake and throw it in your faces with such raw intensity, one cannot fathom a better way of going crazy to the dance machine!"
~~~Detroit Free Press

"Great stuff...should see more of it coming out!"
~~~Rolling Stone

KARMA DIVER GIGS
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1/10/03 Steve's Downtown Music
DeLand, FL (Karma Diver, The Survivors & Protagonist)
1/17/03 Happy Daze
DeLand, FL (Karma Diver, Insufficient Numbers & One-Dubliners)
1/25/03 Underground Bluz
Orlando, FL (Karma Diver, Cutaway, The Know-How & Cerephesis)
2/28/03 Common Grounds Coffeehouse
Orlando, FL (Karma Diver, Janie Fitzgerald & One Window Room)
 
KARMA DIVER REUNION SHOW
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12/19/03 Steve's Downtown Music
Deland, FL
 
KARMA DIVER BENEFIT SHOW
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8/19/04 Deltona Art Center
Deltona, FL

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